家事負担が男女平等でないとか、文句を言うのは好きじゃない。男女平等なんて解決しない問題にエネルギーを使って不満を言い続けるのは好きじゃないの。だけど構造的な欠陥には文句を言いたい。
I’m not the kind of person who likes to complain about the unequal division of household chores between men and women. I don’t enjoy spending energy on things like gender equality, which I believe are unsolvable problems. But when it comes to structural issues, I do want to voice my complaints.
「女性管理職比率を上げなきゃいけないから、昇進しなよ。」と言ってくる上司の奥様はだいたい専業主婦。10歳上の年代で偉くなった男性のご家庭はそんなもんか。私が昇進して猛烈に働いたとして、誰が我が家の夫や子供たちにご飯を作ってくれるんだい？
The boss who says, "You should get promoted because we need to increase the percentage of female managers," typically has a stay-at-home wife. I guess that’s how it is for men who got promoted a decade ago or more. But if I get promoted and start working even harder, who’s going to take care of meals for my husband and kids?
1980年代生まれ以降の後輩たちは、男女平等なんだから男も料理しなさいと配偶者をしつけて、料理と子供の世話を押し付けあっている様子。まだ子供が小さく食べる量が少なく、実家の手も借りられるから成り立っている押し付け合い。長期休暇は実家に子供たちを送り込んでほっと一息ついている彼ら。実家が年老いていき、子供の食べる量が増え、塾の夏期講習に通い始めたら実家送還もできないことを知らず、さらに私立中がお弁当だとはまだ気づいていない。
我が家の夫は昭和な男、私の2,3倍稼ぐけど家事はからきしだめ。
Those born after the 1980s seem to be handling things differently. They tell their spouses that gender equality means men should cook, and they pass the responsibilities for cooking and childcare back and forth between them. It works for now because their kids are still young, don’t eat much, and they have help from their parents. They send their kids to their parents' place during long holidays, allowing them to focus on work with peace of mind. But they don’t realize that as their parents age, their kids’ appetites grow, and they start attending cram schools in the summer, this system won’t work anymore. They also haven’t figured out yet that many private middle schools require packed lunches.
In my house, my husband is an old-school man. He earns two or three times what I do, but he’s completely useless when it comes to housework.
そこでいつも思うのは、男女平等とか男性も家事負担しろとか言うのは止めて、みんなで自炊を放棄して国民皆給食にすればいいのにってこと。決まったメニューをありがたくいただくシステムにしないと、女性活躍促進なんて無理だと思うのよね。
This is why I often think, instead of saying "men should share household chores," we should just give up on cooking altogether and adopt a universal meal program for everyone. If we had a system where everyone eats a set menu, I think it would actually make women’s participation in the workforce possible.
給食が無理なら台湾みたいに屋台文化にすればいいのに。共働きの家庭は基本的に外食とするというカルチャーを醸成してくれれば、食材の買い物と料理にこんなに疲弊することもないし、夫婦間の不毛な家事の押し付けあいもなく、外食コストを後ろめたく思うこともない。
If universal meals aren’t an option, we could have a culture like Taiwan's where food stalls are everywhere. If society could establish the norm that working couples eat out, we wouldn’t be so exhausted from grocery shopping and cooking. It would also stop the pointless passing back and forth of household chores between couples, and we wouldn’t feel guilty about the cost of eating out.
そうでなければ、国民の食事はカロリーメイトを基本とするって定めてくれてもいいのよ。料理は特別な時しかしたくない。
Otherwise, they could just declare that everyone’s meals would be based on something like CalorieMate. I only want to cook on special occasions.
私立中のお弁当については皆が歯を食いしばって我慢している。学校は「学校案内に学食なしって書きましたよね？コンビニで買ってきてもいいし、たまご屋の弁当を毎日頼んでもいいですよ」と言ってくれるけど、圧倒的多数が自家製弁当。わかるよ、学校だって今さら学食なんて作りたくないよね。食中毒も怖いし、調理師確保も大変だもん。ようやく受かった学校です。学食の有無なんて選定基準に入れられなかった。
When it comes to school lunches in private middle schools, everyone is just gritting their teeth and enduring it. The school says, "We clearly mentioned in the school guide that we don’t have a cafeteria, right? You can buy something from a convenience store, or order a bento from the Egg Bento House every day." But the vast majority still opt for homemade lunches. I get it, the school doesn’t want to bother setting up a cafeteria now. They’re afraid of food poisoning and it’s hard to hire enough cooks. We were just happy to get into the school, so we couldn’t make having a cafeteria a condition for choosing it.
でもお弁当作りが声をあげない母親の仕事だからこの大変さに焦点が当たらないだけで、もう一世代後の新生共働き世帯の子供たちが私立中に入学したら、きっと夫婦でお弁当作りを押し付けあった上で不平不満を言い出すと思うのよね。
But the reason this struggle doesn’t get highlighted is because making lunches has always been a responsibility that traditionally falls to mothers. Once the next generation of dual-income families has kids in private middle schools, I think couples will start complaining about who’s responsible for making lunches.
月曜日から土曜日まで毎日朝練の運動部。おにぎりを作り、卵焼きを焼き、一品作ってあとは冷凍食品をつめるだけの簡単弁当だとしても起きるのは6時。下の子の中学受験勉強で11時過ぎまで相手をしているから、私はそんなに早く寝ることはできないわけで、加齢も伴い体力ないし、仕事は昇進して重いし、だけど毎日忘れず炊飯器にタイマーをセットし食材をそろえ・・・総量としては重労働だと思う。
The school sports team has morning practice every day from Monday to Saturday. Even if it’s just a simple lunchbox with rice balls, a rolled omelet, one dish, and some frozen foods, I still have to wake up at 6 a.m. I can’t go to bed early since I’m helping my younger child study for their middle school entrance exams until after 11 p.m. I’m getting older, have less energy, my job is getting heavier with promotions, and yet I still have to remember to set the rice cooker timer and prep the ingredients every day. Honestly, it's a heavy load overall.
そして私がまだ直視していない事実。次男が部活ではなくジュニアユースチームでサッカーを続けることになったら夕食もお弁当を持たせることになる。16時半に弁当を持たせてサッカーに送り出すって専業主婦家庭じゃないと無理じゃない？専業主婦前提のシステムもうやめない？
And then there's a reality I’m still avoiding. If my younger son joins a junior youth soccer team instead of a school club when he enters middle school, I’ll have to pack him a bento for dinner as well. Packing a meal for him to take at 4:30 p.m. for soccer practice sounds impossible unless I'm a stay-at-home mom. Can we stop designing systems based on the assumption that there's a stay-at-home parent?
国民皆給食で、私立中にもジュニアユースにも大人にも昼夜給食配ってくれたらいいのにな。
Wouldn't it be great if we had universal meals not only for schools and junior youth clubs but also for adults, with meals provided both day and night?
